I’ve been working a lot lately. Now, when I say I’ve been working a lot, I don’t mean 80 hours a week on blood pressure medication wearing out the soles of my shoes working a lot- simply that while a full time student I am accustomed to working about 15 hours a week. I’m pushing thirty now, with travel time coming into play soon. So I’m a bit tired. So, what am I doing online at 1 am?
Tonight I was added to the sidebar of John’s blog. It’s interesting the way we’ve begun to fit into each other’s lives. In the beginning I was a bit detached. He would say that I was the aggressor, and that may be true, but he also pointed out that if I was cold and he offered me his jacket, I wouldn’t take it. In the beginning. Now, all of a sudden, I find myself cuddling in WalMart, texting one more time just to say I love you, and letting my teeth chatter just a little louder when I want his jacket- or even just to get a bit closer.
How does it happen?
One thought more: What are the responsibilities of a muse? I’ve been contemplating this one of late. And with all of my feminist tendancies, how does a mutual-museship evolve? When John tells me he thinks I can do something, I know that I can do it. If he looks surprised or excited or hopeful with regard to something in my future, I feel just that much more surprised or excited or hopeful. He keeps me grounded in realising that preparation and growth have to occur before I create something truly remarkable, but deep inside his comments there is an insinuation that really, quite possibly, I could create something remarkable at any moment. If I can make him feel supported and excited in that way at all- I guess I’m doing ok.
Now if only I could get him to eat some vegetables.
Really, I am very tired. I just had a bit of bagel (I was previously also very hungry) and should go to bed. I’m basically just trying to make this a habit. So off to bed, and in a few hours, work again!
Tis all for now.
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