John tonight asked what was needed to get me to post on my website. I told him to ask me questions, and I’d answer them. “Every day?” Yes, every day. We never got to it, though. But I have a question for myself. WHY CAN’T I GET ANYTHING DONE?? So here’s my quandary. I like to think that I’m good at school. The results have always shown this to be true. I always (almost always) get my assignments done on time, with a good amount of effort. And I ALWAYS think to myself, I’ll get this next one done early and out of the way. Take this week for example- by today I was meant to have two papers done and out of the way so I can concentrate on the most DREADED of all subjects: logic. How many papers do I have finished? Well, almost one. Not even almost! I’m such a liar. What have I done instead? Well, I’ve cleaned some things up, gotten some needed things at WalMart, and spent quite a lot of time cuddling with John and demanding his attention. Good job he doesn’t have anything due tomorrow and I just distracted one of us! What if I need to be almost at the finish line before I can achieve something great and masterful? Am I destined to live my life two days behind schedule? Tomorrow I have a study session and then my LAST DAY OF WORK (hallelujah) and then I’ll resolve to get things done by such and such a time La La La. I cause myself more grief than necessary, but I’m not sure what to do about it. I want to finish school and go on to some graduate work, but what if I’m burning out? Fizzling? I think I just need a summer off to get back into it all. Then, just ONE semester and it’s on to bigger and better things. I guess I should figure out what I want a masters in, huh?
All in all, I’m way to happy a person to put any serious effort into changing things.
And, I’m tired now. So, instead of staying up and finishing what I started, I’m going to bed to dream about fabulous things.
Goodnight.
And John, I expect those deadlines soon, love.
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