Natural Sceptre

An interesting drive to work this morning. In case anyone was wondering, Provo is officially the worst place in the entire world to own and operate a motor vehicle. It is downright dangerous to drive here. I have never in my entire life seen so many aggressive, reckless, selfish drivers in one place. In my dear home state of Massachusetts you get an aggressive driver here and there, every once in awhile a reckless one, usually just clueless people on cellphones- but people in Provo tend to be all of the above. I don’t necessarily think it’s the locals- since Provo is literally little Mormon melting pot- it’s probably a mixture of styles. I have a theory about how being told that you’re the chosen generation too much can have a negative affect on your driving, but I’ll save that for another time.

So, besides the typical people randomly veering into my lane for no reason, cutting me off, and blatantly running red lights (it’s amazing) we had an odd assortment of added extras this morning. I saw TWO humongous lawn mowers driving down the road, dead center- driven by girls in pink hoodies (Powder Puff Law Care?). Also, they were repainting the arrows in the turn lanes again. I have never seen a state so fastidious about their turn lanes. I’m sitting at a light in the the lane going straight, when all of a sudden a truck pulls into the turn lane to my left going in the wrong direction. About 5 guys, moving fast, jump out- reminiscent of Oompa Loompas, and proceed to lay down a pattern and spray paint the arrows. All I could think was if that paint “sprays” onto my car- I’ll be having Oompa Loompa for lunch. The light turned green and I moved on.

I also saw two people get pulled over by the police this morning- besides those two police cars I saw another squad car and a Sheriff’s truck. Add on about 8 Provo Town Maintenance trucks, and you can see how I felt weirded out. Almost like at any moment “the man” was going to take over the city.

Oh Provo.