Little Kite Girl

It’s actually been a good couple of days.  Camper-centered, like usual.  He’s been on the top of our minds and people have showered us with gifts for our little baby to be.  Yesterday we got a HUGE box from our Groton family.  TONS of clothes, I can’t even believe it.  Looks like BabiesRUs exploded in Camper’s room.  When my cousin Sara’s baby was born he kind of just “skipped” the whole newborn clothes stage- he was a big one- and has just gotten bigger, so he was kind enough to share.  Thanks Sara, Auntie and Melissa for sending your love this way!! Then today the girls at work threw me a shower.  It was amazing- they got me tons of bath stuff and clothes and baby pruning tools and the cutest baby book ever.  My Mom came too, and even though she’s given me a gift at my other two showers (one in MA and one in Herriman with family), she came with even more!!  I thought it was tricky yesterday when she came home from “the park” without the book she always takes to read, and then wouldn’t look at me until I stopped asking where she had been ;)  She’s a tricky one- she got me the warm jumper I wanted for Camper AND the cutest PJ’s with bears and moose and racoons on it AND a breast pump.  I actually can’t even remember all the things people have given us, it’s an amazing show of love and support.  So thanks to all our family and friends that have given us so much from the very earliest stages of this pregnancy!

Pregnancy is once again changing on me.  I’ve gotten hungrier again, even waking up feeling like I want to eat in the middle of the night.  I’ve tried to stifle that urge a bit…I want milk ALL THE TIME, and I’m starting to get more tired at work again.  I think that has a lot to do with the fact that we’ve hired my replacement and I’m in the beginning stages of training her.   My back is also killing me…but I hear that’s to be expected.  More exciting, though, is that Camper is getting really really strong.  I felt him stretching the other morning and it was so slow and deliberate, he is such a real little person.  I’m hoping that we’ll have good news with regard to my iron at my appointment tomorrow, but honestly, it’s nice to not have to worry about Camper’s health anyway.  Just don’t beef up in there too much Little Man…

John goes back to school next week, and I’ll keep on working and doing as much as I can.  I think the time might be approaching when I’ll need a little more rest.  I got home last night and asked John, “What if I go into labor at the end of a day and am already exhausted?”  I think I need to try a little harder to not get so run down.  We’ll see what I can do about that…

But as for now, I’m just enjoying life with baby internal.  I’m really, really enjoying having my Mom here.  I tried to explain to her today that I’m actually starting to feel spoiled- do you know many people who have someone there to help them get the food they need and do the cleaning that needs done and drop them off and pick them up and basically just lives life in a constant state of, “What can I do for you?”  I hope that I can be as good a Mom as she is, selfless and patient.  Cause I know I’m not an easy one to help.   At least I’m giving her a pretty grandbaby boy to say thanks.  The only thing that’d make it even better would be to have my Dad close by.  I don’t like the idea of them being apart for so long.  Thanks for letting me have her for awhile, Dad.  She helps me so much!

Oh yes- and since I’m naming people I love- I have a pretty good husband, too.  He is amazingly good at finding the exact food I need before I decide I don’t need it anymore, and very, very good at making me smile when I wake up in the morning.   Enough mushiness for now, I think it’s time for a bath.

Hello!  I’ve (well…John the handy internet husband…has…) finally done it!  I’ve been wanting to switch the location/name of my blog for some time now, and so here it is!

World, meet

LittleKiteGirl.com

LKG meet the world.

Natural Sceptre has treated me very well, and for awhile you’ll be able to get here from there, but this my main locale now.  I’m going to be making some other changes (slowly but surely) so you if feel so inclined to update my name and url on your blogroll or link lists, I’d truly appreciate it.

Thanks everyone!

I was just browsing some sites and found this one: http://www.savvyauntie.com/.  Finally, a site that realizes that Aunties are amazing, vital parts of our lives!!  It’s a community site for Aunts who don’t have children of their own, but might as well with all they do for their nieces and nephews.  So, my Auntie Paulette, maybe you should check it out!  There are other Aunties out there, too!  But none as good as you

So, I was up all night last night and sorely tempted to stay in bed allll daaay long today.  Contrary to this impression, I did get up and go to work, which is where all the ridiculousness started.  I sat down and started updating my spreadsheets, all normal-like, just enjoying a plastic container of blueberries my Mom sent me with.  Then it turned out that we had an interview coming in for my position, which went REALLY well (we ended up hiring her, I start training her tomorrow, but that’s another story), but took half the afternoon.  So afterwards I went back to my desk expecting to get a few things done when I get a phone call- it’s HR.  They inform me- get this- that I’ve been selected for random drug testing.  I get to pee in a cup, yay!  So I waddle down there to find a tall, blonde, frantic woman following me into the bathroom.  The first thing she says to me is, “Are you sure you have to pee?  Because I only have so many cups.”  Ummmm….is it not her job to provide the cups?  Plus, I’m pregnant.  It can feel like Niagara Falls is waiting to be released only to give way to a few measly drops.  Gaging my ability to pee isn’t first priority these days.  Anyway, so I do my business only to have her bang on the door and inform me I only have 4 minutes, and then WALK IN ON ME.  Seriously- I was only in there for like…2…max.  Then she proceeds to chat about how I’m pregnant and should be able to pee on demand, etc. etc. etc.  The BEST part, though, and the part I’m actually going to report to HR tomorrow, is when I told her I was on Prednisone so that if my urine came up all full of drugs she’d know what they were, and she said, “THAT IS A HORRIBLE MEDICATION.”  In front of everyone- as if I’m some kind of horrible woman for taking it.  It was as if the doctor said, “Here, to cure your horrible, uncomfortable mystery disease we have either a) steroids or b) fruit loops and kitten kisses,”  and I said “Bring on the hard stuff.”  Feeling the emotion rise in my everything I turned to her and said, “Thank you very much for judging my medication.”  That is when everyone turned to look at me like, “Uh oh, Erin’s going postal.”  The woman balked and floundering a bit said, “Oh, it’s just that my sister was on it for a long time and it turned out really badly.”  To which I replied, “And amazingly, your second comment worse than your first.  You should just stop.”  Ok- so it’s a sensitive subject to me.  I don’t want to be on medication, and the only other meds I Could take cost almost $300 a month.  And my OBGYN and my GI have said it’s ok, and honestly, I just avoided a colonoscopy, and I’m just sick.  And all of those feelings came to a head on this woman who felt the need to treat me like a criminal and then judge me openly.  So anyway, after that, I went home.

We decided to take my Mom to Applebees for a THANKS MOM dinner treat (because she is so amazing, and takes care of me so well, and deserves some Applebees sometimes) and thus commences weird experience number two.  The waiter comes up and takes our drink orders and follows it up with, “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to look at your rings.”  I immediately felt confused, wondering if there were some new law in place that required me to be married to have a Pepsi.  The waiter then GRABBED MY HAND and stuck his face down close to my rings- apparently he is looking for one for his finance.  But still, he touched me, it was weird.  He was actually a good waiter…but…the only word is weird. He asked my Mom if she didn’t like veggies because she didn’t finish all her millions of broccoli, and she said, “I ate a few trees.”  In all seriousness he turned to her and replied, “In that case, would you like some dessert?”  I about bust a gut.  The crappiest part of it all was that John and I both got endless plates of various things and neither of us could make it through even ONE serving of dinner.  The waiter said “we didn’t prepare.”

So yeah.  It was a weird day with lots of weird feelings.  And I think it’s probably about time to go to bed and just read some stuffs.  And that’s it.  Because I can’t deal with any more full bellies or pee cups or waiters touching me.  I just hope hope hope I can sleep tonight- because I don’t want to be wandering a dark house looking for bagels at 1am again.  Not good for me, yo.

The weekend is dying down. It’s another one of those Sunday afternoons that I can’t really remember what it was that I’ve been doing for the last couple of days…

Friday was work and then we all stopped by my friend’s wedding reception to give our congratulations. It was just up the canyon, so we stopped in, said hi, had a brownie, and high tailed it back down. I can’t believe last summer it was me standing in a reception line thanking everyone for coming to see us. From receiving line to receiving blanket in one year. I’d say we don’t waste any time.

Saturday was pretty restful. We went and saw Alicia, Chad, and new baby Spencer. Spencer is such a cutie- 7lbs. and 7 oz. I can’t believe 7 lbs. can look so small. He seems like a pretty laid back baby. You know, most newborns are until they figure out the hunger situation and learn that crying gets people’s attention. Holding him made me want Camper on the outside even more- it’s so close to time. I’m anxious to hold him and wrap him and feed him, and see if with him on the outside this pain in my back goes away…But mostly just to hold him. It was funny during church today- John poked him and Camper poked back. They’re already playing around.

So yes…there was church today, more time checking up on Alicia and family, and then a nap. Hmmm…re reading this post I think I might be boring…but I HAVE been reading a lot more lately! Of the books I’ve really enjoyed there was The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, by Laure R. King. I didn’t think I’d like it at all, it’s kind of a mystery/coming of age type novel complete with Sherlock Holmes and kidnappings, etc. I really liked it though- and it’s a series- so perhaps I’ll have to pick up the rest. Then The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. (What’s with the bee theme?) I can’t believe I had never read that one before. Sad, but real. Then there was Little Men, Louisa May Alcott. It was really sweet to read, but one of those things that you can only take so much of before the sheer goodness of the characters starts to make you feel depressed. I’m kind of excited, because we started a book club at work, and the first one we chose was My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I really wanted to start something with the girls at work so that after the baby comes I still have an excuse to see them and get out a bit- maybe even a deadline of something to read. So I’m in the middle of that one, which seems a little weighty, perhaps. But good. And then last night I started reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged again. I meant to lend it to a friend, but when I got it out I wanted to remember what makes me so mad at it and still like it so much at the same time. So I guess if my posts seem a little low-action, it’s because most days if I’m not at work or taking a swim with John or my Mom, I’m laying in bed or in my chair and reading something. Here’s to justified laziness as I finish growing my baby :)  But as for now, I’m thinking a little walk around the canyon might be in order before I come back home to resume Sunday restfulness.

1) Even though I keep SWEARING I’m going to figure out how to design it myself, I keep just finding a template somewhere else that suits me and using it.

2) My coolest blogroll people totally design their own BANNER, or at least it looks like they do it themselves.  I mean, check out SAJ. How can you beat a penguin with a Popsicle??  If that’s gone when you get over there to see her, it’ll be something equally as cool.  Promise.

3) For some reason my blogher ads don’t look pretty like everyone else’s.  I think I installed the code wrong.

4) I don’t post beautiful pictures taken with a super amazing camera like my friends do.

5) Daddy Dan the super interviewer doesn’t even know I exist.  He’s totally the popular kid in the cafeteria right now.

6) I’m often to lazy to link, choose tags, or even change categories.

I guess I’m just feeling pathetic right now.  Maybe when I’m a SAHM I’ll have more time to learn to design things and make them as fabulous as they are in my brain.  (And the SAHM’s laugh because they know what I’m actually in for.) For the moment though, when I get around to actually even posting I end up feeling good enough about myself, having a cookie, and going to bed.  Sigh.  One day I’ll be as cool as you people

As I smush my face against John’s face for about 45 seconds, he looks at me quizzically out of the corner of his eye.  When I finally pull away he says:

“Was that just a really long sniff-kiss?”

I laugh.  “Yes.”  I laugh until I snort.

“And was that a snort laugh?”

“Yesssssss……”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Let me begin by saying some of the following books could be very helpful resources when considering birth and babies.  I’m not even judging these books by their covers…just by their titles.  I’ve never read any of them.  However, in a recent search for something new to read, I ran across these and just had to mock them.  Just had to.

Birthing From Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz

As if there is another option….

Episiotomy : Challenging Obstetric Interventions by Ian D. Graham

Yes, please let me pay you an enormous co-pay and then challenge your interventions.

Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Robert Bradley

Something tells me I’ll be telling him what to do that day.

Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Kaplan Shanley

Please, if I go into labor, assist me.  Thank you.

Aromatherapy for Pregnancy and Childbirth by Margaret Fawcett

I can only imagine a tiny pot of scented oil being thrown at the wall because really…it won’t help.  I think we’ve gone to far trying to take control of uncontrollable situations.

Birth As An American Rite of Passage by Dr. Robbie Davis-Floyd

Oh come on.  Do we really need to claim everything?

So work yesterday was a bit of a trip.  For some reason (Friday air?) everyone was in a bit of a funny mood.  Most everyone left early, I just got a few things done and then came home to my loving family.  What I REALLY wanted to do yesterday was find a rocking chair.  I don’t know if you’ve been to my house- but we have few pieces of sitting-type furniture.  One is the futon- great for sitting- for short periods of time.  Awful to sleep on.  Then we have the “chair.” It was here when we moved in (mysteriously).  I have been able to get comfy in it from time to time…but it’s a bit dilapidated and my feet don’t touch the floor.  And for some reason I can’t figure out how the  recliner function works on it on my own…I always need a bit of assistance.  And really…that’s about it.  Thinking about sitting up at night with Camper made me dream….LONG for a comfy chair that I can get in and out of easily, something that I can maybe….maybe even fall asleep in.  So we went to RC Willey.

I know.  We hate RC Willey.  But they are cheaper and better than BabiesrUs or the other options we were seeing around (we’ve done some scouting) and after a hilarious hour of wandering around and sitting on everything in the place, we found the perfect Mom chair.  It’s kind of a tiny recliner with cushy arms and good head support.  It’s not the most gorgeous chair in the world- but what it lacks in style it makes up for in comfort and feasibility.  John wanted red leather somethingorothers with remote controls and odd shaking functions.  The one we finally decided on is definitely preferable.  So John and our friend are off to pick it up and bring it home- and all in just 24 hours.  My Mom laughed at me…I was still on a hyper high from work when we went and I kept saying funny things to the salesman.  The kicker I guess was when he asked if we were going to pick up or arrange for delivery, and I looked him in the eye and asked, “Hey, do YOU have a truck?”  He just sold it.  So no luck there.  Thank goodness for Gary and his willingness to move our stuffs around.

After THAT we met Jonathan at Kneaders for some dinner.  I really wanted a regular sandwich.  For those of you who didn’t grow up in Groton, a “regular” is salami on white with tomato and oil and pepper and provolone cheese.  (Hold the lettuce).  I asked the girl at the desk, “Do you have salami?”  (It wasn’t listed.)  She said, “Well, we do, but it only comes in the Mufallatto sandwich.”  I said, “Well, if you have some for that sandwich, ostensibly you could create ANOTHER sandwich with just salami.” Meaning…seemingly…if you have the ingredients…let’s just rearrange them in a different way, shall we?

Her eyes seriously glazed over.  Then she said, “I’d have to ask permission for that.”

I ended up getting ham.  John and Mom think I lost her at ostensibly.  I apparently need to work on my ordering vocabulary.  Jonathan got there after we were already sitting down to eat, so he (asked my Mom for money, haha) and then went through the line on his own.  He refilled my drink for me while he waited for his name to be called, then sat down for a minute and chatted.  We were all just having an innocent conversation when the waitress called “MaryAnn!” Jonathan got up and, assuming he was joking, I started laughing, “You’re not MaryAnn!”  “Yes, I am.”  All nonchalant, walked up and picked up the basket.  That’s when I really, really started laughing.  “WHY DID YOU TELL HER MARYANN?”  His reply, “Do you have any idea how many Jon’s there are around here?”  He was completely serious.  It killed me, I nearly wet myself.  My brother is a wonder, that’s for sure.

After THAT we went home- it was beautious and breezy outside, so I wasn’t quite ready to be in for the night.  John and I have wanted to find some pictures for Camper’s room- so we went out to look for something we liked.  An hour later or so we came back home and I got the inkling to do a bit of rearranging…and this is where John became VERY GLAD my Mom was here.  She and I stayed up til midnight arranging the nursery, putting up pictures and putting toys away and washing littttttllleee clothes and socks and towels.  The results…very cute.  I shall have to post some pictures.  We still have a few things to get- but it really looks like a little boy’s room now!  All the clothes and blankets are clean (I know…I’m not supposed to take tags off til he comes and we’re sure they fit, but hey, I was too excited) and placed in his dresser, and it just feels good.  I’ve also started working on my hospital bag and Camper’s hospital bag, getting things together and ready slowly.  I know we have a month left, but getting everything ready helps assuage the panic that comes when I think of pushing him out of me and into this world.  And who knows?  These kids these days…have a mind of their own.  According to the doctor yesterday, he is probably 4 or 5 lbs. and measuring up just on schedule.  Things are looking good

Yesterday was a good day. We slept in a wee, then woke up and went to our doctor’s appointment. This was the OBGYN, so except for just hearing about Camper is doing we didn’t expect much on the “what’s going on with my colon?” front. But I DID have SOMETHING to ask about.

Birth Control.

Control with a Capital-C. Don’t get me wrong- I am SO EXCITED about Camper coming along. We wanted him, we…more or less…planned him. (That is, if “I don’t feel like taking this pill anymore, it feels wrong. Well…let’s see what happens” and then peeing on a stick every few weeks is considered planning.) And although I had no idea what I was in for, I wouldn’t change the last 8 months of my life and marriage for anything. All that said- it’ll be awhile before we try again. We both want to give my body time to rest and gain nutrition back, especially as the doctors have said that Camper is indeed sucking it out of my bones and muscles to make up for what my digestive track wastes. We also want to find out what’s wrong with me and get that under control (Colitis, anyone?), and most importantly, we both want to give Camper the room he needs in our life to flourish and feel loved and known by his parents. I feel like we followed our hearts to Camper, and now we’re following our hearts to a few years without pregnancy, acts of God aside.

So herein’ lies the problem, how does a woman breastfeed AND control her hormones in such a way that keeps her from getting pregnant? I am NOT naive enough to believe that breastfeeding is a natural form of birth control. I’ve seen far too many babies conceived under just that notion. Aside from barrier methods and natural family planning (no thanks) the remaining options are:

First, (da da duuuuummm) the mini pill, which is a low-level hormone pill that is a wee less effective than say, Yaz, which is what I was on before. It also requires a greater level of accuracy with taking it. So, for instance, that day when we were on the way from the airport in Massachusetts heading towards our honeymoon in Maine and we couldn’t find my birth control….would have been a bad thing on the mini pill- whereas on the chock-full-o-hormones pills give you a little more leeway. (What, you haven’t heard that story? Oh it’s a good one! We’ll tell ya sometime!)

Second option, the shot. When I read about the side affects, though…we moved on. Quickly.

Third option, a little miracle called….Mirena. Mirena is a little device inserted directly into the uterus which delivers an outstandingly low level of hormones directly into the system. The level of hormones used is by far lower than any pill, even the mini pill. As a result, Mirena has few to no hormone-related side affects. No weight gain, mood swings, etc. Even more exciting, when you take Mirena out- it stops working. Right then. You can get pregnant again right away, no waiting game. Even MORE exciting, it CAN work for up to five years. For it to be cost effective (i.e. equal to the value of the pill) you just need to have it for one year. Mirena is intended for women in a completely monogamous relationship (as an STD is basically given an open-door invite because of the placement of the device), has had at least one child, and wants an incredibly reliable incredibly reversible form of birth control. On the little totum pole of effectiveness given in the literature I’ve been reading, Mirena has the highest percent of success rate in preventing pregnancy, even above a vasectomy. Which blows my mind a little.

So yeah- that sounded like a commercial, but I was very, very excited to figure it all out. I had been reading a lot online about various things, and actually a little hesitant to talk to our Doctor about it. I made the choice to breastfeed for a few reasons. Mostly, Camper’s health and my health, cost effectiveness, closeness with my baby, and the fact that Mary Wollstonecraft was an advocate. (Not kidding..haha). But I also really needed to find some birth control that wouldn’t interfere with my attempts to breastfeed- and one I felt comfortable with- and Wa LA. There ya go. Now, living in Provo…(well, and anywhere, really) family planning is a controversial issue. I know many people who I love and respect that would never do a thing to limit the size of their family, except maybe fake a headache. I’ve seen many a stalwart woman send out birth announcement after birth announcement, sometimes at the detriment of her own body, and sometimes at no detriment to anything whatsoever. I believe that the decision to have as many children as time allows is right for some women. I’ve also had friends and relatives who struggle to become or remain pregnant, and I feel the weighty responsibility and tremendous blessing of having a body that can conceive and maintain a baby- even if it does seem to be more difficult for me than others at times. I listen to my religious leaders when they say “Don’t delay your family because of monetary reasons, or because you haven’t finished school!” I’ve learned for myself that that is good advice. But here’s the thing- with all these considerations in place, I’ve also learned that John and I, together with what we feel is right with regard to what God wants for us specifically, have the right and responsibility to make decisions for our family. The feelings that guide us in this way led us as individuals first, and then as a couple, to get married, to commit finish school and try for Camper, to decide to move out East, and now, to wait a bit before we try again. It’s actually quite comforting, really. It’s a pretty good system. Not too shabby.

So yes- I am excited to have a plan. I was excited that our doctor wasn’t only supportive but enthusiastic about our wonderings into Mirena. She said she used it herself, up until recently, as she is about 6 months pregnant. So that’s that, I guess. Sounds good to me.