Natural Sceptre

So my brother finds out that Shanna and I are on the Special K diet.  We’re in the kitchen, I’m washing dishes and he’s making some mac ‘n cheese, and he gets all worried.

“Erin, have you even pooed this week?”

“Yes Jonathan.  I’m fine.”

“Well, if you stop, you need to stop that stupid diet right away and eat something.”

He took the same tone with regard to the importance of proper body functions as youth leaders take with regard to morality.

 Apparently, it’s the best part of his day. (The pooing, not the morality.)

Ah the last few days.  Ah them.  SO.  Yesterday was an interesting day.  Went to work, and was actually rather productive.  I feel like I have kicked it into high gear a bit lately.  Looking at this weekend and the beginning of next week- I had quite a bit to do.  Well, still have.  Book of Mormon  test, Rock and Mineral Quiz, reading for William James, movie review and reading for Film, Physical Science to do (will it ever end!?) and of course…the horrible science test….which is still pending.  So, I studied for and finished the BOM stuff today- I was a little freaked about it because my teacher is CRAZY, but it went just fine.  I did just enough Phsycial Science early in the week to let me have the weekend off…did my film last night, and so now…it’s just the TALK (da da dauuum) and science review.  If I can get through those two things in the next few hours, I’ll be a happy girl. 

Yes.  I had my first testing center experience of the semester.  It wasn’t too bad.  I find a seat on the end, so I didn’t feel like a sardine.  I’ve found that it’s worth the extra couple of minutes wandering around looking for a good seat.  When I first got to BYU, I was SO intimidated by the testing center.  First of all, in Scranton, all exams were in class.  Second, as soon as you enter you walk up a huge set of stairs, stand in line- and have a stranger eye you for contraband notes, ipods, phones, calculators, etc.  You get your exam and coversheet, and walk into a room lined with desks.  There are rows of desks.  The desks are bordering all the walls.  The desks are FULL of students- and if you listen closely (because it’s pretty silent) you can hear the sound of 70000 goody-two shoes hyperventilating because they’ve confused Moronihah and Morianton.  There are stories told of a room with classical music playing- but I’m not sure it’s worth going to look for it. 

Our rock lab quiz this afternoon was interesting too.  Lotsa rocks.  I felt pretty confident about most of them.  I guess we’ll see.  I really enjoyed learning about them, surprisingly.  On the way out I told Otis (our instructor) “If I didn’t end up doing well, it’s not because I didn’t care!  I really enjoyed this.”  It made John laugh.  I just wanted to make sure he knew that I paid attention and cared.  You know.  ANYWAY.

So, I returned home (we got done early!) and made some dinner.  I’ve been doing that a lot more lately.  Lots of rice.  I made some chicken my brother really liked.  Then tonight, Kielbasa.  I’ve also finally found a veggie that both boys will eat: corn.  I have a secret plan to integrate some other things in with the corn.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m actually going to go see a nutritionist on Monday.  I’ve been thinking about how we can eat better- I think it’ll help us both feel better and be healthier through the winter.  Since living on my own, any attempts to be healthy have been along the lines of making sure that I got a baked potato from Wendy’s at least once a week.  Most of the time, unless my Mom cooks it, I don’t eat food with more than two steps involved in preparation.  So- we’ll see how it goes.  I’ll see if she has anything to say that I can’t find online. 

 I also did a wee bit of cleaning tonight.  Oh how I love cleaning night.

So, the weekend.  John’s parents are coming up for the weekend, and they’ll come to church with us on Sunday :)  That’ll be nice.  Also, I think we’re going to work on fixing up my “blankie” Maybe I’ll take a “before” picture.  I’m a little nervous…this blanket has been with me for YEARS.  But we have to try and save it before it rips in half COMPLETELY.

Ok.  I’ve used enough capital letters now.  Time to get to doing some work!

Last night, as I was plodding around our house making dinner, washing towels, and feeling generally, not well…I felt home.  For the first time since I’ve moved to Provo, for the first time since living in our little basement apartment (either with my brother or with my husband) I felt as if I were in my own home. I’ve figured out that certain times of year connect me to where I am.  A nice crisp September will help me feel happy with my surroundings faster than anything else.  Enough time, enough experiences, and a certain level of control over the area also help me to feel like home.  Last night, I think I felt it so keenly as a side-effect to being at home, wandering around in my PJ’s, waiting for John to come home from work.

Let’s just leap back in time a few (12…) months, and I remember making sure that I was completely dressed and reasonably attractive before I would even let John into my house.  I also freaked a little if I needed to use the bathroom (for ANYTHING) whilst he was in the living room.  Yes, I know, just pathetic.  Last night, I felt ucky, and wandered around in a big sweatshirt and pj pants, and ended up washing all my makeup off long before he got home.  I wasn’t concerned with what I looked like, I just wanted him to hug me and kiss my forehead and look happy to be home.  And he did.  And I realized that I feel home.  It was a really good feeling.

Interestingly enough ( as a contrasting experience )sitting in an odious science class today, I was overwhelmed with the desire to be back in New England.  I don’t want just crisp air, I want wet crisp air.  I want normal people who don’t over-layer their clothing, and who don’t make a reference to the Quorum of the Seventy or to the Doctrine and Covenants every five seconds.  I sometimes miss Scranton where people didn’t connect their college education to the knowledge that they will take with them through eternity.  Let’s live in the moment!  And let’s skip class sometimes!

So, there I am.  Torn.  I feel like we’ve got a home.  A real one, a nice one, one where I have someone I love (occasionally even other people  I love stop by and linger for awhile), and, on the other hand, I miss my environment.  I miss people who wears scarves and the smell of coffee and even sometimes the smell of (if it’s the kind my Grandma June smoked) cigarettes, and I miss seeing someone and having no idea what their life is like, as opposed to seeing someone and being able to guess, with reasonable success, the plan they’ve got working for them in their life.  Go to school, get married, CES or Law School? And guess what, if you want to know what their life plan is you can go up to them, sit down, and start a conversation.  They are friendly enough to answer you and talk to you for awhile.  I miss people who stare at you like you’re crazy until you go away.

 I was talking with John the other day and I admitted that in all actuality- I really like Utah.  I love having Salt Lake so close, full of small shops and normal people.  (Well, that’s relative.)  And I love Park City, and the mountains, and the relative AFFORDABLITY of everything.  However, as soon as I get around enough people (especially on campus) I rescind my opinion.  Fast.  Stuck in the middle again.

What a day.  I, officially, might be a psycho.  Woke up this morning EARLY (before work) and went to the doctor for some unpleasant chest-type pains/head aches I’ve been having.  Ends up, they think it’s a stomach acid thing.  Which, I guess makes sense, considering the amount of fast food we’ve been eating lately, and the stress I’ve been feeling.  Admittedly, I have a lot to do, but not like, “leader of the free world,” or “mother of small children” amounts of things to do.  And yes, I did imply the same level of busy-ness there.  Who knows, maybe I’m a little more overwhelmed by school, work, and extras than I thought.  I started to feel SUPER ew at work today, and John told me that I needed to come home.  I got home sometime after 3:30, and he effectively drugged me and put me to bed.  Ok, he gave me some nighttime flu/cold medicine, and I cried because I felt like I had too much to do and couldn’t THINK (I’ve been mixing up words all day, saying somthing different than I mean..not good for an EDITOR), and then he put me to bed and went to work.  I slept hard for about three hours, and have spent the rest of the evening working on my practice science test.  I feel a lot more sane since the nap.  He must be smart, or something.

So yes…will finish up here and hope a good night’s rest will kick the cold out of me.  And hope the medicine the doctor gave me will make my tummy oh so better. Please, because apparently, after 24 years of life- I still can’t figure out limitations and how to take care of myself.  I just fly myself in a brick wall and then get suprised when I crumple like a little bug.  Ok.  That was dramatic.  But next time you start crying in the middle of the day for NO REASON, and you figure out it’s actually because you feel horrible and have for days and have ignored it until it feels “normal,” and then you keep saying and typing one thing and meaning another, then yeah…little bug.

This morning has been LOVELY. A real hot chocolate kind of morning. I haven’t had any yet, but I’m sure I could find some somewhere. It rained all night, and that, aided by a little nighttime cold medicine (yesterday was ROUGH) made me sleep pretty well. I only had my William James class today because Science is an optional “review session.” John and I have opted out, considering the inept/frantic nature of our classmates. I don’t mean to seem harsh- but they seriously FREAK OUT over knowing everything perfectly. Tis an honors class. What did I expect? So after he is done with class and chatting with a professor, we’ll go and finish up a geology assignment, and then head home. I plan to spend the day working on my practice test for the science class that John and I are enrolled in, and also starting to go through the book for my physical science exam. I’ve decided to test out of the class, instead of sitting though it, because I figured it’s the same amount of bookwork without the need for interrupting my Tuesdays/Thursdays with a class that seemed…well…touchy feely. So, important announcement to follow: I give anyone and everyone that reads this website permission to heckle me with regard to if I have started to study for the exam yet. It literally be the difference between graduating and not graduating. So, I had better get my butt in gear.

Let’s see. What else. The weekend was nice. I feel like we got things done we needed to, wanted to, and got some rest. Friday night I cleaned like a crazy girl (I LOVE waking up on Saturday mornings with my temporal world in order, call me crazy) and then on Saturday we ended up driving around a bit. We ran to IKEA,a new/used bookstore, and a few other places. From IKEA we purchased some additional seating, meant to allow more people to sit comfortably in our living room. Jonathan has decided that he doesn’t really like it, and John thinks it’s made for toddlers…but I think it works. More butts can sit. The end. (I think that’s the second time I’ve used the word butt or a derivation thereof in this entry. Hemmm.)  We ended up watching a film for my film class: Cinema Paradiso.  If I weren’t so lazy, I’d do some links and link to it.  I would seriously recommend it to anyone.  Takes about 10 minutes to get into, but then I watched it with eyes-wide open awe.  Just a feel good/about real life/film.

Ok.  Now I’ve got to get my things together…get ready to venture out into the cold and do some some homework before going home and hiding to get some real work done.

OH YES!  Before I go, I bought a perfect pumpkin.  It’s wonderful. Smallish, round, and beautifully orange.  Yesterday was the official first day of Autumn, and my favorite month is coming on quickly.  I love October.  Love Love Love.  Time for pumpkin seeds and warm jackets and turkeys.  Of course, turkeys.

John: I’m willing to get up for three minutes to look for something that we all want to watch.  Any longer than that, and I’m just choosing.

Erin (panicking): JONATHAN! HAVE YOU SEEN 24?

Jonathan: 24 of what?

John: Just give me a theme.  I’ll go look for something.  Three minutes.

Erin: The theme is…things Erin would like to watch.

What an incredibly full day!  We got up this morning (late, I never seem to want to get out of bed these days) and ran to class.  I met Becca Bailey on the way to my William James class, and she decided to crash.  It was fun, and she said she wanted to start coming every once in awhile.  After class we realised that we hadn’t gone to the temple together in a little while, so I ran home to get my temple things and a change of clothes so that we could go after science ended at 4. 

So, a bit of running back and forth trying to find parking on campus for the second time that day- and then John and I had to attend a Rock Lab for Bio.  (Yeah…Bio + everything else scientific in the world is a better name for the class).  AMAZINGLY, I kind of liked rock lab.  It went quickly, and I think I may actually be able to retain the information.  Which is just great, because this lab is the only thing this semseter that we’ll be quizzed on with open notes.  So the things that are easy for my brain to remember are evaluated less-terrifically than the things that I can’t wrap my mind around.  Whatever.  SO- after the lab, we had the CLASS, which I officially played with my computer all the way through.  Honestly, I find the teacher a bit hard to follow, and the subject matter stagnate.  I should probably put more effort into paying attention.  After a brief goodbye with John (him, headed to work, me headed to meet Becca) I ran down the hill and hopped into her car. 

We raced to the temple and beelined for the changing room.  We had a limited amount of time, and I was probably going to end up trapped on campus after if my brother couldn’t come get me (cause Becca was in a show starting at 6), but we decided to go anyway.   As we were walking down the hall, an older man asked us if we’d like to help with some sealings.  We looked at each other, and yes!  It was perfect!  We got dressed in our white dresses and went down, and were actually very needed.  It’s funny, but last year around this time Becca and I tried to go and do the same thing, but were rejected…because they didn’t enough work that we could to do- the office was full of young married couples who were already making their way through most of what they had for the day.  So it was nice a year later, to finally get to do that with her.  It was so nice, I’m glad we made the time to do that this afternoon.  AND, it didn’t run as long as regular session, and we had time to just sit and chat a bit together afterwards.

 SO.  She had time (after all) to drop me off at home, and off running I went again.  Return movies to blockbuster, get Jonathan some dinner (I owed him one), and stop off at the library to pick up Cinema Paradiso for film class- the only problem- it’s VHS.  So I’ll probably have to watch it on campus on Monday. 

I got home and cleaned the house.  Since John and I only really have one whole day together to get stuff done, I don’t like to spend any of it trying to clean the house.  Plus, I LOVE how I feel after I’ve cleaned everything up.  Love it love it love it.  So yes, I feel like I’m still moving, even though I’m sitting down.  It’s been a busy day, a good day.

I just spent so much time writing an extremely funny blog about how I made my brother drive to Lindon with me to get my car washed because I can never get my car in the carwash groove, and then how we went to Taco Bell (b/c he was hungry) and I ended up trying to get a little pig out of a vending machine…but got a cow instead…and then Jonthan went and got me the pig AND an elephant…and how we’re home now watching Beauty and the Geek.  It was seriously funny.  But I spent so much time writing it and lost it soooo fast…that I can’t even fathom writing all that again

On the way back to work from lunch, my gas light came on.  It made me feel proud, like I had finished all my dinner.  Is that weird?

 I, by the way, heart Costco for gas getting.

Another little “tween class” update.  My film class, meant to run until my Book of Mormon class, let out an hour early.  With this teacher, I have a feeling this may actually be a regular occurrence.  Tis nice.  I like it.  Feels like beautiful stolen time.  John and I also had time at lunch today- we both ran home and got some food, studying for a quiz we had at two, and watched a baby giraffe be born on animal planet.  All I have to say is, except for some licking and the big fall….the birthing process doesn’t vary too much between species.  Alive new thing inside comes out. Wah-la.  All I could do was stare dumbstruck at the screen.  Do you ever measure your life in “nexts?”  For instance, when you’re in high school, next is college.  THAT, for me anyway, would come before things like marriage and babies. When I knew I was going on a mission, I knew that THAT was a next, coming before marriage.  That was a big, long, safe next, where I was encouraged not to worry about the next next.   Now, I’ve still got things like graduation, and I don’t know, scuba diving for the first time…etc….but as for the BIG nexts in life, I’ve now accomplished the one (marriage) before the big SCARY next.  The getting freaked out watching a giraffe give birth kind of next.  The next next was one, in ways, that I was looking forward to putting off.  You know.  The pain and stuff.  Hmmmm….I think I’m going to stop watching animal planets.  Although, I did learn last week that I LOVE baby hipopotumuses.  However you spell that.  Or was it a rhinosausourus?