Boys at BYU are stupid. It’s official. When I first moved here, I was told about the whole “Dating Smackdown” talk given by…um, maybe Boyd K. Packer? Basically, you actually need to DATE. Make a time, pick a place, pre PLAN. I thought, at that time, that the talk was kind of funnily irrelevant. I had dated, and I had relationships that didn’t follow that pattern, but were serious, or serious enough for me at the time anyway. Turns out, the talk was necessary AND relevant, because BYU boys are DUMB. And the girls are dumber.
I went to my little bro’s house last night for a Transformer’s party, and his roommate had some girl there. Girl was VERY into roommate. She was very affectionate, open about her feelings and her level of commitment, and quietly attentive to only him. HE on the other hand, would completely ignore her as she hung on him. He bought a big screen TV, and I was (rudely, probably) asking how a college kid could afford such a thing. He answered that he is young and single, and has a good job, and nothing or no one else to spend his money on. Girl responded: “You can spend your money on me.” He just laughed. He was borderline ignoring her. He didn’t touch her, or look at her directly, she was just like a lamp, or a cushion on the couch- a clingy clingy couch cushion. It was sad.
Walking to this class (sitting here waiting for my 7pm to start) I saw a cute girl with an ok guy walking toward the road west of campus. He was saying something about his roommate’s girlfriend:
“She is seriously the cutest, coolest girl ever. I mean, he is really lucky. She’s really fun and has a good family…..”
Meanwhile cute girl is looking longingly at him. I wanted to stop them and say, “Ok, she is MUCH cuter than you. You better get over your Jessie’s Girl syndrome and look at who you’ve got standing right next to you.” It’s sad. They probably wouldn’t have even known what JEssie’s Girl is. Whatever.
Conclusion: Either guys around here don’t feel like dating, don’t actually want to get married or even have a relationship, or they are just TOO dumb to do it on their own. I can just see it now. It’s health class, junior year of high school, and they separate the guys and the girls for “those” lessons. The only thing is, it’s different here in Happy Valley. They tell the girls that they just need to pick a guy and follow him around until he finally decides that he’s ready to take an interest and take you out, and for the guys it’s about how they need to remember to wear deoderant and keep their language clean.
Phew. It’s infuriating to watch. The guys infuriate me, because they OBVIOUSLY don’t value the interesting people they have around them, and the girls make me sick because they allow themselves to be treated like that.
When I first started dating John, I hadn’t dated since I lived in PA. There was never anyone in Dalton that I really dated, and I had been on a mission for a year and a half before jumping in my car and driving towards BYU. When John asked me out…it wasn’t some grand gesture leading to an empty relationship, it was a simple invitation to spend time together. At that time, most of my friends were guys. I lived with two girls who constituted my “girl” friends, but my social circle outside of where I lived were mostly guys from my ward or guys from my classes. As I started dating John more and more, those guys just kind of slipped into the background. One of them, in particular, went a little weird on me and decided to tell me that I should break it off with John before things got too serious. John was convinced (and still is) that some of these guys that I hung around were interested in me. But my question is, interested in me HOW? They certainly never asked me to do anything with them, one on one. They never called me or tried to learn about my family or what I was studying or what I wanted to do after college. They never tried kiss me, or even hold my hand. So WHAT exactly, were they interested in? I saw them all the time, they made time to be “around,” and nada. I honestly wasn’t much interested in any of them, but is this what BYU girls experience on a regular basis? Just boring blah-ness?
I’m glad John asked me out. I’m glad we began to date regularly. We honestly, didn’t even kiss for quite a long time. I was still mission-stupid, and he was just getting to know me. It was commitment. It was an inquiry into our two lives, to see if we were compatible, and I’m so glad that we found out that we were.
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