Natural Sceptre

As we speak (or, as I write) my husband is off buying me ice cream.  Because I had an undeniable craving.  He’s been quite the independent grocery shopper lately.  Among the list of other things he’s run off to get me includes biscuits from KFC, red Cool Aid, Spaghettio’s, Sour Patch Kids, and…well…there have to be other things.  Before I was pregnant I used to think the cravings were “cute,” but now I realise it’s not a pleasant “Oh I want that so much” type feeling,  it’s much more of a “I’m going to puke and the only thing that might stop me, MAYBE, is _______.”

Ok, he’s back.  This is going to require bigger pants, brb.

Ok, back.  John is now busily making some biscuits.   He’s been surfing recipe websites and getting inspired to do something about it lately.  It’s actually kind of a good sign.  When I met the boy- the only things he ate were chips and food from cans.  Very occasionally he would cook something for the both of us- but the best meals he got when we were dating involved chili from Wendy’s.  I’ve tried to cook more as we’ve been married- and for a couple of months when he was working nights- I think we were actually getting all the food groups in regularly.   Granted, we ate at about 11pm…but we ate.   Since I’ve been pregnant- it’s gone downhill.  For awhile I didn’t have the energy to cook- then I didn’t have the stomach for it.  The past few weeks it’s been better- we’ve taken turns, I made some AWESOME soup awhile ago…some rice and meat tonight.  But anyWAY- back to my point- I think he’s finally beginning to realise how much he can eat- even with Celiac disease, and that food is sometimes worth the effort.  Plus- he’s pretty good at the cooking thing when he puts his mind to it- if only we had a dishwasher.

I had a long chat with my Mom today.  There’s a possibility we might be able to fly out east for a few days in June.  I can’t tell you how much I would love that- LOVE that.  I miss home so much sometimes- and when I say home, I don’t necessarily mean Orchard Rd, I mean New England.  I also miss my family.  I’ve felt a little left out as I’ve heard about parties and get-togethers in Connecticut.  The wedding just made me miss my aunts, uncles and cousins more.  My cousin Sara is pregnant- due in May- and I wish I could see her belly.  I would settle for meeting her baby, though!

In our baby news- we may know the sex on the 14th.  Yup- two weeks!  It’s our next ultrasound, and we’ve been told that it’s “likely” the doctor will be able to know what the baby will be then.  Now- the girl who sits behind me at work is about 19 weeks and couldn’t tell when she went, so I’m nervous to get my hopes up.  But who knows.  We’ll see As for our stance on “telling people,” we will let you know if it’s a boy or girl when we know, most likely…but as for names, that’s going to be kept under wraps for awhile.  We’ve come up with some ideas- in the broadest sense of the word, but we’re both big believers in actually seeing the child before bestowing upon it it’s name.  I mean- I was born Jamie Lee.  That didn’t stick- so we’ll see.

We will definitely see.

So yes- it’s been a weekend. Friday night we went up to Kelly’s to get my hairs done. Ever since I dyed my hair I’ve been worried about getting roots- and in an effort to avoid them I decided to get my hair dyed back to it’s natural color. Well, come to find out that I’ve had roots for quite some time, they’ve just been barely noticeable because the dye I put in faded and my hair has gotten darker. Who knew? My Mom said her hair got darker when she got pregnant- so I guess I just jumped the gun a few months ago with a box of Clairol. Kelly and I decided on some highlights to brighten me up without having to worry about it growing out, and I got a trim. It’s nice to get things taken care of…I should really get up earlier in the morning so I can DO something with myself instead of barely drying my hair and running out the door. We’ll see.

Saturday we woke up late, but not too late, and ended up doing stuff around the house and running some errands. The errands included throwing all of John’s socks away and replacing them (consequence of me finding out that some of them have been with him since just after his mission. Seriously. Not kidding.) I finally found the time to vacuum out the breezeway and clean it up for the new, warm weather. I like to keep the doors open when it gets nice outside, and sure enough, as soon as I get rid of all the leaves and mess from the winter in preparation for spring—it snows. All night, all morning, and most of the afternoon. Yuck. Ew. Whatever. Before ending the day we ran out to Blockbuster in search of a couple of movies- most especially Dan in Real Life. When we got there around 5 there weren’t any copies left, but I asked the guy and the girl at the desk to keep an eye out and hide one for me if it came in. Admittedly, I tried to flirt with the guy- and as a girl who’s carrying around an extra person, found out I can’t do that anymore. Even though John gets flirted with in WalMart all the time. Yup. There’s a story for you. Moving on- When we got up to the front they HAD INDEED gotten a copy for us! Yay! We also rented Enchanted and In the Land of Women. The latter two were wastes of time- but Dan in Real Life was good. It had a Family Stone quality that I really enjoyed- it might be one to own one of these days.

Today we woke up, went to church, and then commenced to laze about. Although I HAVE been inspired to pluck my eyebrows and paint my toenails- because after my haircut I’m inspired to spiff up a bit. Although I have to live life as a blotation device, I don’t need to feel too frumpy. I told John today that I lived about 10 years of my life complaining about being chubby and nauseous….and I was an idiot. I was a flat-stomached, energetic-type girl who could function on small amounts of sleep and eat anything covered with cheese at any time of night or day. And now…oh I wish I had enjoyed it. Will I ever get that back?

(Oh, and by the way Auntie- I found a stand up routine where Bill Cosby called them Salad Tongs! Funny, funny man.)

What a day.  To be truthful, I don’t remember it all that much.  I know my husband kissed me goodbye and went to work, I got up late (I’ve perfected the art of the 25 minute getting ready routine), got to work, ran reports and went to a meeting…somewhere around 3pm I realised I was running on a severely empty tank.  I was freezing to death (and wrapped in John’s winter jacket, which I’m in love with these days) and so tired and nauseous and went into my boss and asked to go home.  I rarely do this- unless I have a real reason, like an exam to take or an unavoidable errand to run, I usually stick it out, even if I threaten to go home a few hundred times.  But home I went, without even flinching.  When I got here I sat on the couch long enough to email John and tell him that I was home (no texting, remember) and then I got in bed.  And slept.  I was OUT.  I slept for a little over an hour (I think….) until John got home.  He had to run out again to go to some museum for class- and although I considered going with him, he assured me that neither of us would enjoy it.  So I stayed home.  He ran out to the museum, then stopped by the bookstore, then stopped by and got me some Life Cereal and my pre-natal vitamins, and then came home to me.  I’ve missed him today.  I think I’m slightly obsessed with being near my husband.  Sometimes running errands separately feels weird.  We will probably have to become more independent one of these days, but until we do, I can enjoy how nice it is to cuddle him after not seeing him for a few hours.

I’m finally all caught up at work- which always takes about this long after payroll ends.  Now I’ll have a couple of “down” days and then payroll again.  It’s kind of a cycle.

I am officially in my second trimester, and experiencing a whole host of new things.  Some too unpleasant to mention online, lest you get grossed out and I discourage some poor soul from having a child.  I’m told it’s worth it.  Among the things I CAN mention are some very random dreams….including one of me spending the night in my own uterus (and I thought there was no room in our bed!), getting mad at my husband (sometimes I’m so mad when I wake up I have to lay there and look at him and remind myself that he has done absolutely nothing for me to be mad about), and one this evening of trying to “fix” a raffle at work so I’d win something.  To usher in the “new-mester” I woke up at 3 this morning with some very familiar hunger pangs- ended up chocking down a cheese stick (I’m so over my previous obsession with Honey Combs) and trying to go back to bed.  I woke up nauseous, which was crappy…because I’ve been actually waking up just fine for a few weeks now.  In other news, if I turn too far to the right or left I get a very strange pulling sensation that hurts.  And when I sneeze I think my uterus is going to fall out, and I sneeze A LOT.   And we won’t even talk about my bathroom problems.  Not much action going on in there.  That’s for sure.  ALSO- is my leg hair growing faster and…well, for lack of a better  word (do forgive me for this) peltier?  It’s crazy.  Just crazy.

Well, anyway.  I just pray I can sleep tonight and won’t just lay away all night thinking about how John’s big toe is on my side of the bed and how I’m not, not even a little, mad at him.

Until later….

So I’ve decided. All my blog titles from here on out are going to be lines from songs that I’m listening to lately. So if you can guess what they are, great, if you can’t, and you want to know, you can ask. This one’s from Regina Spektor. And yes, I’ve changed the look a bit. Truth told, it’s not fall anymore…so we needed some revamping. The more I look through these things online the more I realise that I really, really need to figure out my own design situation. I’m going to start my HTML book soon- so we’ll see what that does for me. But that’s enough of the site news.

I’ve got a bunch of random thoughts that I’ve been meaning to share as of late, so here goes. First of all (starting with this evening) chicken legs are CHEAP. And they taste GOOD. Tonight we made very successful BBQ legs, rice, and coleslaw. The chicken took about an hour in the oven….and I wouldn’t mind speeding that process up a bit…but the effect was well worth it. John ate it rather hungrily, and I always feel good when I discover something he enjoys. Earlier tonight I posted a couple of pictures of my rapidly expanding belly- mostly to show my Mom. When my Dad saw them he saw, “Looks like that baby has ear bones.” Which is my father’s way of saying, “I heard it last week when you told me your baby has ear bones now.” Which is funny- at least to me.

Also- we’ve been spending most of our later evening hours watching The Cosby Show on DVD, one of my Christmas presents. Seriously- I’m obsessed with Bill Cosby. I want him to deliver my baby. My Mom says that he’s not a real doctor- everyone says he’s not a real doctor. But I don’t even care. Maybe he can just be in the room when I’m in labor and crack jokes. On TOP of that, my brother SWEARS he saw him at the Provo Town Center Mall this past weekend. SERIOUSLY. Bill Cosby.

There have been a couple more changes around here lately. Mainly- we’re driving two separate cars around these days. I have to be honest- except for a couple of times when things got dicey, I actually enjoyed getting a ride to work in the morning and going everywhere together. It was kind of nice in a way that it’s rather hard to explain- when we got the Subaru we were both a bit put out but couldn’t figure out why. And that feeling was quickly overwhelmed by absolute joy at finding such nice car and me not having to get John to work by 8am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Also- we’ve declared a texting ceasefire. We found out that we went over the limit on John’s phone this last month…costing us about $30. I have unlimited texting on mine, but I am unapologetically still on my Daddy’s family plan. (Thanks Dad) Which will stop in a couple of months. But instead of upping John’s limit- we decided to stop texting so much. And I think I’m addicted, honestly, but getting used to it. I didn’t realise how many times day I would text him, “So, what you up to?” etc. Silly silly.

So, what am I reading? Well, I’ve found a few new blogs- which, if you’re like me and like to stalk blogs- you might want to take a look at. A lot of them I’m run across through Blog Her, and who knows! Maybe one of them will see this link and be surprised that I go to their site. But here goes:

Kimba, who is also pregnant. Congrats!

Secret Agent Josephine

Melissa the Mouth

and

The Alpha Mom - which is kind of a repository for interesting consumer/mom stuff.

I’m also reading Stardust- a book John bought a couple of months ago and just finished (it’s been in his “to read” queue since before Christmas). It’s so different than the movie- but good. It’s nice to make time to read in the evenings…even though I think tonight be a lay-head-on-pillow-pass-out night.

OK, that might be all for now.  Just a bunch of jumbly thoughts I wanted to get out…hopefully I’ll have more time now that I’m liberated from the science class online.  PHEW.

So. I said I would write more, and I didn’t. Sorry. Still working on that.

This week flew by. It was payroll at work- and, since I’m the payroll person, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off making sure I got everyone’s commissions, time off, hours and overtime, la la la la la. It was pretty tiring, but I’m still enjoying the people and the days don’t go too slowly. My evenings were mostly filled with laying around, studying for my science final, and well….trying to force myself to eat something. And yes, I’ve TAKEN the final. Finally! I had a slight (ok, major) freak out on Thursday night when I realized that although I am able to retake the final if I don’t do well enough, but don’t have enough time for it to be graded and take it before the graduation is long gone…..that I really needed to do well. I felt under-prepared and trapped ONCE AGAIN by BYU and their invisible ploys to keep 20-something’s attached to campus. I mean, with so many people fasting for admittance across the nation, you think they’d help a girl out trying to get out. But maybe not. But I took it. Friday night- and I don’t think (knock on wood) that it went too badly. I felt fine going through it- and except for the weird feelings I had standing in the line waiting for my exam with my baby bump…and the fact that the testing center does NOT cater to pregnancy with their super long exams with no bathroom breaks…and the air conditioning right on my head….I’m somewhat confident that I’m done with this class. Which means I’m done with my undergraduate education. Granted, I could be delusional, and my uterus pressing on my bladder could have blurred my judgment, but I’m hoping I’m done.

I was talked to Alicia about graduation- and I guess she’s going to walk. I feel so ridiculous at this point- having prolonged my graduation as long as humanly possible, missing deadlines, etc…that I don’t feel like it’s worth it. It’s also just more money and a long ceremony that I will most definitely either feel nauseous through or have to pee during. And although I don’t really WANT to walk, necessarily, I don’t know. I just remember thinking about graduation in Scranton and feeling excited to go through that with my friends. I even still have the tassels (somewhere) from my honor society that I never wore. I gave that up, and for a good reason. I still have wonderful friends, but not that memory. I’m glad that I went on a mission, but I’m learning that the sacrifices you make to do something like that last longer than 18 months. There are things I’ll never get back- and I don’t think walking at BYU will get it for me. Of course, I know for a fact that I would not in ANY way be the same person that I am today with my experience in England. I mean, there was living in the UK- which was an experience in itself. Then there were the people, who are amazing friends. Finally, I learned a lot about God and a lot about my relationship with Him as a real, caring, and personal being. I don’t regret going. But the things that are sacrificed are gone- and I hope I can just remember how glad I am for what I traded them for.

I remember and playing “college” with my cousin Melissa (going from room to room with my girl scout books, pretending to have “classes”) and how I would dream about graduating. Yes- some girls would play house, and I would play college. Granted, quite a lot of the time I’d have a baby that I brought with me to classes, I had to work in the dolls somehow. Funny how true to life things turn out later…But college was it for me. I had no idea what might come afterwards…only that it would start with an aptly named commencement. Maybe we’ll find some way to celebrate. And maybe, once again, I’m counting my diplomas before they’re printed. Stupid physical science requirement.

Today was pretty good. Some sleeping in- we went to IKEA to get some little bear pictures we’d seen there about a hundred times and never found a reason to get. But a baby is a perfect reason to get some little bear pictures. Plus, John loves bears.

Afterwards we went to to Harmon’s and Walmart and got some necessities we’ve been needing as of late. Little tip- don’t go shopping on the day before Easter. Lots of people feeling overly entitled about being cheap and in the way. But we got through it and we’re home now. It’s getting late, and as I’ve been exhausted today…I’m not sure how cleaning is meant to get done. It might just have to wait…because I still have to finish preparing my primary lesson for tomorrow. I’ve read through it a couple of times, but want to put some scriptures in some plastic eggs. I know- amazing technique. We’ll see if the girls fight over them.

So- what will I do with all my extra time now that I’m not doing the course online? Well…I have an HTML book John bought me that I’ll start going through. We put it away until I was done with the course. Also- as long as all goes well, I’ll be starting Westminster in May. They haven’t been too helpful through the registration process, so I’ll have to tell you what I’m taking when I can actually take a look at it. But yes…I’ll have plenty to do.

And now I’m nauseous and need food…so off I go to try and find something yummy.

More later….

It’s me!  Internet, do you remember me?  Hmph.  I know I’ve been gone for so long- but give me one more chance.  I’ll try to make it up to you.

So….this week….it’s been pretty good.  A little slow at work- in between payrolls, and I’m becoming more and more efficient at the daily reports I have to do, which results in less time to do them, which gives me more time with which to do other things.  It can definitely be fun- but it can also be slow.  There are days when I go in and have a million things to do.  Then other days when I’m just chillin- asking, “So, any checks needing to be cut?” or “how about I clean out the mini-fridge?”  But it’s all good.  I should be learning a couple new things soon which will help me be more productive, and there are ALWAYS things to do.  Some days it’s just a little more exciting than others, I guess.

The science class has majorly progressed this week.  I have one exam left: the final.  There are 80 multiple choice questions and 8 essay questions.  I need a 60 to get a C in the class.  In a perfect world, I’d review rather well and do just fine on it.  In the real world I’d just wing it, and have a chance of not even passing.  Which would mean taking it again. (The test, not the course.) We’ll see-  I really just need to concentrate one evening to make sure I get through it rather well.  And then I will be free, FREE of undergraduate requirements…and on to graduate ones.  Should be good.  I’m kind of excited to go to Westminster- a new experience…of course…more work, but it’ll probably feel good by then.  I hope so anyway.

Today wasn’t too bad.  It was quite nice, actually.  We got out of bed pretty late, I’ve finally begun being able to sleep in again.  Much needed sleep, I might add!  We got up, I started some chili in the crockpot, we cleaned house and then went up to Salt Lake.  We visited with Jared, Emily and the girls for about an hour- just catching up a bit, and then instead of going to IKEA like we had planned, we stopped off to get some gas at Costco and ended up looking at some Hondas.  They didn’t really have anything we were looking for- and while the first salesperson was tolerable, his manager was not.  He kept saying things like, “Well, if money is an issue, you don’t need to worry about that today.” Ok, sure!  Sounds great!  Let’s show up at 6pm, look around a bit, then drive off with a new car, down payment pending…and hope the insurance covers it within the month!”  What do we look like, idiots? Him saying, “You don’t need to worry about this today,” was right…because I’d worry about it for the next 30 days.  The first guy had taken us on a test drive, gotten a list of cars and years of cars we were looking for, and said he’d call us back if they got one in.  That is completely acceptable.  The second guy had no clue what we wanted and that they didn’t even have any on the lot.  I wonder what, exactly, he was planning on us driving away in.  Hopes and dreams for 16 k?  I don’t think so.  He wanted us to test drive a brand new accord, even though we said we didn’t want anything new (not worth the taxes or depreciation at the moment), and when we said it was getting late, he pressured us to stay.  It was lame.  But we looked at stuff.  Then we came home.

Now we’re watching Casino Royale…doing some laundry.  Looking forward to an early night perhaps.  I can watch my husband compulsively look at cars online while I try to catch up with my adoring readers.  I’ve been trying to think of some interesting things to blog about…one thing that came to mind was naming 3 random books we have in our apartment every week.  That doesn’t sound to interesting, but I’m still finding out what we have around here (as the books are mainly John’s as mine are still in MA) and the other day I found one called “How to Hypnotize Yourself and Others.”  Hmmmm…I’ll think about it.  Oh yes, and one more thought, in honor of Dame Judi Dench, who is perhaps the classiest, coolest, smartest (in the English sense) women I’ve ever come across, I’m thinking that Dame would be a great name for the potentially little lady I’m growing.  John doesn’t agree.  What do YOU think?

So.  My primary class today.  For any who need catching up, I teach 8 year old girls at church.  I noticed they were all looking at me a little funny- and then towards the end on particuarly boisterous little girl said:

“Are you pregnant?”

Before I could even say yes, the little girl to her left opened her eyes wide and informed her:

“You NEVER, never, never, never ask a woman if she’s pregnant.  She could just be putting on weight.”

The first little girl answered back,

“But it’s just in her belly, not in her butt!”

Good to know girls.  Good to know.

But the conversation didn’t stop there.  The little girl who insisted that you NEVER ask someone if they are pregnant (actually a good rule, I informed her) went on to ask:

“Are you having a girl, or a boy?”  (without waiting for an answer) “You know, if you get a boy first, you should ask for a girl next.  But if you get a girl first, you should ask for a boy next.  But if you get TWO boys in a row, it’s you’re husband’s fault.”

Third girl interjects:

“Why is it the Dad’s fault?”

Other girl continues:

“Well, you see.  The Dad gives the Mom a sperm.  If it’s a boy sperm, then it’s a boy baby!  If it’s a girl sperm, it’s a girl baby!  It’s not like he gets to choose really, but it’s still his fault.  My Mom told me that.”

Another one pipes up:

“What’s a sperm?”

And at that point, I ended the conversation and made them go to their next class….hoping that I don’t get a phone call later.

Yes. It’s been quite a week. Even as I sit here, on the couch, showered but still in PJ’s- I’m wondering if I could perhaps get away with doing absolutely nothing all day long. But probably not- because the house needs cleaning and I am 3 questions away from finishing my science “at home work,” and I want to go to the grocery store because dagummit, I’m going to cook something today!

I’ve got a lot of random thoughts from this past week. The tagline comes from a moment I had in Macey’s- the store next to the building where I work. I was getting a couple of cheese sticks and some juice because I, for some reason, can still not stomach meat….and need to get protein in other ways…and there was this woman with a little baby on her shoulder. She was standing in front of the cheese stick selection picking up different bags- and talking to some woman behind her. She picked one up and put it in the cart, and then kind of shook her head. The other woman said, “I think you’ll be happy with your splurge.” She replied, “Yeah, Dan will be really really excited.” And then they walked on.

This floored me. Ok- so, we’ve had a couple of hard knocks. Between me losing my job and John losing his car and all of this with the knowledge that our financial need is literally growing every day- we’ve never thought of cheese sticks as a luxury. Food pretty much is just necessary- and yes, we could budget better, we could eat out less, we could buy less “pre-packaged food” to save costs….but I guess it just hasn’t come to that yet. Which makes me grateful. I don’t remember a time when my family has ever gone without food or had to budget what we got a the grocery store (maybe, I just don’t remember the hard times or maybe, being able to shop tax-free on base meant that we had more freedom to have the food we wanted/needed) and I am grateful that our financial situation has  never caused me to spend 20 minutes belaboring the decision to buy some cheese. Who knows- we might be there some day- but for now, I am learning to count my blessings. We have one car- it works well. We probably have the means (in the near future) to get another car, and we’ll be fine. But anyway….moving on.

We had another doctor’s appointment yesterday morning. I’m finding every time I go to the OB/GYN I feel- well, unsatisfied. Especially yesterday- I have so many questions, and I wanted the time to be able to really talk about it. I got to ask her about some different foods, and about what would happen if she wasn’t available when the baby was going to be born, and about my ever present digestive problems- but most of my health questions were followed with an answer something like, “Well, right now we really can’t tell. Just keep track of it, and if it gets worse, let me know.” She was practically one foot out the door the whole time. It was a little stressful, too, because at first, she couldn’t find the heartbeat. She tried for about 10 minutes with no luck- until I told her that from the ultrasound I seem to remember the tech saying that my uterus tilts back and to the left….turns out, it’s back and to the right. When she finally found it (phew) she just kind of laughed and said something to the effect of, “Wow. I’ve never seen it there before. That really shouldn’t cause any problems…I don’t think.” Yeah, incredible confidence. John feels pretty good about her, and I guess I do think she is medically thorough- I just happen to be the kind of girl that when she’s growing an entire other person inside of her, likes to be sat down and told exactly why everything is going as planned. John had a point- I’m not presenting with any problems (that she thinks are serious)…so I guess it’s on to the next preg-o woman in line. But I’m left wanting. So, ladies with babies out there….what has your experience been with doctors? How can you tell you have a good one? What are the signs of one to leave behind?? I’m just wondering….

Oh yeah, one more thing!  I got up a little early yesterday morning to make sure I shaved my legs before I went to the doctor.  Now, keep in mind, I’ve been a shave every day since I was 13 kind of girl….until I met up with something called the incredible exhaustion of person creation.  But I just thought, if I were an OB/GYN, I’d appreciate a certain level of comeliness in my patients.  But she didn’t even have me change out of my regular clothes!!  I wish they’d let me know what they were going to do with these appointments…I mean, I told John, “I shaved my legs for no reason!”  His response, “Well, I appreciate it.”  Hahahaha.  Poor man.   I love him soooo much.

I feel bad because I’ve been quite the emotional basketcase lately.  Seriously, I started crying the other night and I really remember from the episode was some incoherent ramblings, “Sobbb….and the dishes….sob….and I didn’t even make dinner….soobbbbb…..and I’m……sobsobsobsobsbo FATTER AND FATTER.”  He’s a good one, he lets me cry it out (I think he actually is relieved when I start to cry, as opposed to walking around here in an emotional stupor trying to figure out what it is I’m feeling.  And then last night…when I’m not even sure what happened, I think we were joking about who needed to put the DVD in the DVD player, and I was laughing, and then next thing you know I was crying…and after it was all over he just said, “Are you OK?”  and I said, “Yeah, just a mood-swing,” and he said, “Yeah, caught that.” Oh the adventures of hormones.

Work is going well- I’ve finally told everyone there that I’m “with child.”  You can’t imagine the freedom.  Maybe you can- I’m not sure why I was so hesitant to tell people there.   I just needed time to get it all sorted out in my head- and figure life out a little bit.  I feel, now, like I’m free to just be happy about it.  Which is good, and the girl that sits behind me and I chat about stuff every so often- which is nice.

I think the worst part of life at the moment is the fact that I am tragically out of touch with some people that I really love.  My friend Emi wrote me an email because she can’t get in touch with me these days….and I just love her.  She’s great- the things she does with her life are great- she is literally the least lazy person I’ve ever known.  The kind of person who  can’t sit still and lives for “the doing.”  I think I only ever got her to sit in one place for a significant amount of time for a movie.  That kind of reminds me of my father in law! If memory serves- I think they met at the wedding in MA.

Then there is Jess, and Christine, and Lindsey who doesn’t even know I’m pregnant (unless she reads this, HI LINDZ, we need to talk soon!!!) and my cousins and of course, my Provo friends who live RIGHT HERE and I never see.  Alicia and Shanna and Becca and Shelly- I’m not avoiding friends- I’ve just been soooo tired.  Maybe in another couple of weeks I’ll be full of that glowing energy everyone keeps talking about.  There’s always room for hope.

Ok- I think I’ve digested enough of the pancakes John made this morning to get up and going ;)  Time to get some stuff done.  I’ll try to be better about writing….