Natural Sceptre

Just feeling generally good today. Life is sweeet. I was able to get a bunch of little things done yesterday post nap, for example…got my “loan exit counseling” done so I’m all set to graduate. I got a card from my Mom celebrating. I heart my Mom.  I can’t believe I really am ALMOST a college graduate. I also got the stuff together for our new phone mail-in-rebates…it’ll be a bit before we get them but my eyes are already glistening with excitement at the thought of a trip to Costco once they come in. ALSO, I got the classes I wanted for this summer. It’s been a long time in coming- I’ve had to check every day for a couple of months, but when I went on last night they had magically created another section and WA LA. The schedule I wanted/needed for this summer, all set to go. In order to be a half-time student I needed four credits. I signed up for Intro to Teaching Writing, a 1 credit course on Wednesday nights for the month of May. There are only 4 classes, so I don’t have to worry about that one getting in the way of work too much. The problem was that there were only two 3 credit classes offered, one twice a week (Technical Writing) and one once a week (Effective Presentations). I REALLY wanted to take Effective Presentations, not because I just LOVE to speak in public…but because it meets on Thursdays from 6-9. This means a few things. First, I won’t have to leave work early, an hour is plenty of time to make it to Sugar House from here, and I’ll only have to go up once a week after May. This is good, as I’m sure my girth will be increasing and I’ll be getting more and more tired as Little Camper gets bigger. (This is my new online name for the fetus.) I just feel like it worked out perfectly, just perfectly, and what was previously stressing me out a bit has turned out to be something I’m excited to start.

I’m actually getting a little freaked that I’m going to work so hard to arrange it so that I can stay home with Little Camper (post-exit) and then go absolutely stir crazy. I was talking to my Mom about this before, and I hate not working. I’ve pretty much assumed that I’ll be staying at my current job for the duration of our time in Utah- but I’m looking at how it works out with John’s schedule and I KNOW it doesn’t make sense for us to get childcare. With so many decisions to make about what to do and what not to do and when to do it- I think I really need to take a breath and look at it from John’s perspective…let’s make the moves as it becomes time. You know me, I hate waiting and I HATE uncertainty. But I guess that’s what makes it fun, huh? Yeah. Fun. Plus, for all it’s headaches, I’m settling into my job quite well these days. Sure, I get jealous of John’s student lifestyle at times, but I’ve got it pretty good, too. I guess another thing that really bugs me is the whole “This is what you should do because God says so” aspect of it all. I think that perhaps, just maybe, John and I have our fingers on the pulse of what we’re meant to be doing with ourselves making adjustments as necessary. The prevailing mindset in Provo, however, is “do it our way or be shunned.” I’ve already encountered a little judgment with my desire to start grad school this summer (as if cookin’ a baby requires me to stay home and knit stuff?) and with the good possibility that John and I will be juggling Little Camper around two hopefully complimentary work/school schedules. God FORBID John has to give him a bottle every once in awhile. Anyway, that’s my rant on that. If it didn’t make much sense it’s because I’m still trying to figure it out in my head.

The last couple of days have been pretty fun. I mean- who doesn’t love a good meltdown over Flintstone vitamins? As John and I were having our nightly “huddle around the vitamin counter” moment last night, he made an offhand (joking) comment about how I eat all the red ones. This hit me so hard that I immediately starting crying (the hard, can’t breath, can’t stop the tears kind of crying) intermixed with laughing because I felt so stupid that I was crying over vitamins. He just hugged me and said, “Whoa. That was an unexpected one.” Yes, yes, it was.

I’ve also been dreaming about floods again. I have NO IDEA why these dreams have suddenly come back. I remember having my first flood dream when I was about 5 years old. I had then the whole time I was growing up- but they stopped when I went on my mission. I haven’t had a flood dream for years- generally they’re set in CT at one of the houses I grew up in, and normally I’m doing regular type stuff when a flood warning is issued and I’ve got to find my family and make sure we’re all safe. True to form, that’s how they’ve been again. It’s weird dreaming about CT after all this time, and the odd thing is that I keep dreaming about people who have passed away as if they’ve been in CT this whole time. Pregnancy hormones, you think? Who knows. Ok- back to work.