Natural Sceptre

Yes, this type of convo is a regular occurrence with him. Not trying to be punny.

Jonathan: So? You gone today?

Me: Yes. Ever since I’ve been drinking those activia things. I don’t even want to know what they put in there to make people go.

Jonathan: Melted down cafeteria food…..

(long pause)

Jonathan: I love cafeteria food.

The new door is in. I’m so relieved. There was definitely a moment or two today when I thought it wouldn’t be able to get done- but John had almost finished it up before I got home.  Another trip to Home Depot, and it’s done.  It looks good, it feels good, it makes me feel good. On top of that, he fixed our other door- so we now have two locks on the upper door, and three that work on the lower door. My husband built me a fortress.

But that was today. I don’t want to forget all the stuff that went down last night. Jonathan came over last night to keep me company until John got home. As he sat next to me and watched his shows, I realized that the cough he had started with about two weeks ago had not only NOT gone away…but had gotten worse. Much, much worse. I started getting numbers of doctors to call to see if they’d see him today, but ended up deciding that I wouldn’t sleep until he saw a doctor. So- to the emergency room we went. All I have to say is, wow. The ER was full- very full, and at one point some drug-seeker type almost sat on Jonathan to get to a phone. By the time John joined us after work, it had emptied out a little, but we still had to wait about an hour or two before he got back to the REAL doctor. When we got back to the little room (oh how I’ve come to know those rooms well) we settled in for a couple more hours. We didn’t end up leaving until 3 am, and what happened was hysterical. I actually took notes on what John and Jonathan did and said- but honestly, half of it, you kinda had to be there. Like, for example, when Jonathan’s little bracelet was bothering him (or…the hangy-off part of it, anyway) and he asked if John or I had scissors in our back packs…and THEN he made fun of me for suggesting that we use a metal ruler saying, “What, are you going to measure the exact length of the annoying piece of bracelet?” And I gotta tell you, at 1am, that was pretty funny. Jonathan went to get a chest x-ray. When he got back I said, “What did you have to do?” He replied: “He made me take of my pants though. I felt awkward.” So I got all freaked out about THAT, and then, for some reason, after a few minutes of silence Jonathan just said, “John…” and John said, “Jonathan….” and Jonathan said, “John,” and John said, “George,” and then it was Mary Ann, then Professor, Ginger, and then a nurse walked into the room next door and said, “Jasmine?” I almost wet myself. And, now, looking back, there is no way to tell that story and have it be as funny as it was in that moment. The whole time Jonathan was begging for a Popsicles, and no one would give him one until the doctor saw him…but when the doctor came in she was a whirlwind of motion, and, upon discovering that Jonathan had had two collapsed lungs- ordered more X-rays and left the room. So Jonathan goes for more X-Rays and when he gets back I ask, “Did you have to take your pants off again?” And Jonathan responds, “No, it was a woman. This time, she did.” Stupid kid never took off his pants. Will I ever be less gullible? Then, somewhere in ALL OF THAT, Jonathan wants to know if ducks blink (I have no idea why) so John pulls out his computer and Googles it- and it turns out they do, from the bottom up!

Turns out, in all of that, that Jonathan probably has some sort of bacterial infection in his lungs- they are NOT collapsed, and he gets Tylenol with codeine and some sort of antibiotic. It was about 4am when we had gotten his medicine, gotten him home, and gotten in bed. I slept in about an hour to try and make up for a night’s lost sleep, and it actually wasn’t to hard to wake up. So, a few hours at work while John worked on the door, and then I came home in time for him to finish up. I made some chicken, and now- it’s a time for a little rest I think. Definitely, definitely an interesting couple of days.

Whilst we’re waiting for inspections on his car to finish: 

 As he tries to grab my William James book:

Hey!  Watch it!  That’s a very important book!

As important of the Book of Mormon?

Do you even READ the Book of Mormon?

Yes.  Sometimes.  It’s like the Dictionary.  I get around to it.

My advice for how to get a girl:

Jonathan, you’ve just got to play the field a little more.

The FIELD?  I go to the field, and I’m the only one there!

Oh the brother.

Upon finding an orchestra playing at what looks like the Special Olympics in Japan on chanel 28: 

Jonathan: Cello. With no H.  I found that out the other day.  Just C-E-L-L-O.  At least, that’s what spellcheck told me.

Erin: Why were you looking up the word cello?

Jonathan: To add stuff to my Facebook.  I like the cello, okay?

So my brother finds out that Shanna and I are on the Special K diet.  We’re in the kitchen, I’m washing dishes and he’s making some mac ‘n cheese, and he gets all worried.

“Erin, have you even pooed this week?”

“Yes Jonathan.  I’m fine.”

“Well, if you stop, you need to stop that stupid diet right away and eat something.”

He took the same tone with regard to the importance of proper body functions as youth leaders take with regard to morality.

 Apparently, it’s the best part of his day. (The pooing, not the morality.)

I just spent so much time writing an extremely funny blog about how I made my brother drive to Lindon with me to get my car washed because I can never get my car in the carwash groove, and then how we went to Taco Bell (b/c he was hungry) and I ended up trying to get a little pig out of a vending machine…but got a cow instead…and then Jonthan went and got me the pig AND an elephant…and how we’re home now watching Beauty and the Geek.  It was seriously funny.  But I spent so much time writing it and lost it soooo fast…that I can’t even fathom writing all that again

He crushed this can and left it hanging off his shirt.  For hours.

After Jonathan’s first day at a single’s ward, and upon returning home from a picnic:

Me: “So, what did you do?”

Jonathan: “What do you think we did?  The regular girl/guy, Mormon scene.  We sat around.  Ate food.  Guys got out guitars to woo the girls.  The rest of the guys wished they could play.  I drank, like, 30 Sprites.”

Oh how he captured it.

If I were a Queen on the Chessboard of my Google Calendar, my Wedding would be just a zigzag away. Yesterday, it was a straight shot. But, anyway, officially- we’re a month away. Crazy stuff, huh? Yesterday at work everyone kept saying, “You’re in the month range now! How are your feet?” So, for the record, feet are great.

So, it’s feeling like a Friday. I wonder why….oh yeah! We have tomorrow off! I love having a grown-up job that’s NOT retail that allows me to actually celebrate holidays. We (meaning John, Jon and I) plan to go up and hike Timp Cave. John got us tickets for a tour of sorts. It sounds like it’ll be cool, well, very hot, and then very cold. But I’m excited, seems like the perfect 4^th activity. Maybe on the way home from work today I’ll brave Harmons and get some hotdogs and hamburgs for our “contact grill,” and any other festive food- if they’ve got any left at this point. Then we’ll probably try to find a place to watch the fireworks. We’re thinking about the horse trail behind our house, we can walk to it. That’s going to be a lot of climbing stuff tomorrow- that’s for sure.

So yeah, I haven’t been feeling like updating the last couple of days- not sure why. I think it might be because I had a bit of a sickie beginning to the weekend, and then just felt rather tired over the rest of it. It was nice, though, we got a few things done here and there. We finally got out to IKEA, where I found the dresser of my dreams. (medium brown) It’s short, but long, and has six really huge drawers. I thought, “This is great! I can have half, and John can have half!” Well…we got it home and set it up (not too bad a task, but I was on the phone with my Mom for half of it…) and I started filling my half…and half of John’s half, and the other half of John’s half…SO, we’ll need another dresser in medium brown. But they’re so affordable at IKEA, so it’s ok. I told John I’d make room for him in there, and I COMPLETELY intended to, but he said not to worry. So it’s official, I have more room for my things that I’ve had in years. I think I’m spoiled, just a bit. It’s a nice feeling, setting up our apartment. It’s lucky we have similar tastes, huh? I called my Mom to tell her what we got at IKEA, the dresser, two clocks, a cool ice cube tray, and a bag of chips. All for around $200. Her reply: “Wow! All that and a bag of chips?” Yes, this is my mother. Haha.

In other news, we also had a bit of a crispy day in our neighborhood last week. The field across from our house caught on fire, and with the dry conditions (meaning no rain, ever, ever, ever) the blaze went up the hill and into the mountain. When I say it was across the street, I mean ACROSS THE STREET. Our house was filled with smoke for a couple of days- it was kind of gross. It was scary, too. There were helicopters trying to contain the flames, and the fire crews didn’t leave for a few days. A few still lurk around just in case. Apparently it came close to some homes, but everything turned out ok. People were evacuating their animals- but I don’t think anyone got hurt. I guess it got started from a spark off a lawn mower, or something. Interesting…I had never seen anything like that before.

Also, and I’ll let John spread the word on this one, we’re going to be in a movie. You’ll probably be able to buy it at WalMart for $12.99 next year sometime. I’m pre-embaressed. Just so you know.

We’re in Harmons picking up some “on the way home” essentials when all of a sudden we hear from over the loudspeaker:

“Almost time!  Are you ready?  Who can be the fastest?  On your mark…Get Ready…Get Set…Go!!!!!”

Jonathan was FREAKING out.  I have to tell you something, he is obsessed, and I mean OBSESSED with SuperMarket Sweep.  I was on the phone with my Mom and all I could see was Jonathan, covered in dirt from work, darting from aisle to aisle trying to  figure out what he could “sweep” yelling: “What’s going on?  Where is it?!?”

Some lady in an aisle next to us came out and said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a bagging competition.

Poor Jonathan.  He’d be so good at that game.