Natural Sceptre

So- I’ve decided to move on from the song title thing. Mostly- they were only amusing- or even made sense- to me. So I think I’ll give it up for awhile.

So, this morning we slept in (Saturday, soooo nice) then got up and proceeded to do the house cleaning we do each week. We then went on a “date,” meaning….Taco Bell, the carwash, and Walmart. Haha. We got a TON of cleaning products- and one pair of weeee pantalones for our impending baby. I think I’m finding out that I’m loving the whole “frog prince” baby thing. The pants I found were on $3 and had teeny little frogs and turtles on them. I think $3 is great for something Little Camper will probably be able to wear for what, like, two weeks? before he starts putting on weight and popping out of the newborn clothes. To be honest, I’m not sure how that works. I guess I’ll find out.

But I DO have a question- so there are all these “green” cleaning products in WalMart that advertise all natural products, safety on cooking services, etc. My only issue is, they don’t say antibacterial. I’m a big fan of antibacterial….but is it really necessary? So tell me, have you gone green? And if so, do they clean as well? And if not, are these bleach products going to poison Little Camper’s little body?

So, then…on the way home…John and I started into a conversation that we actually have quite often. It is a continuation of conversations in which we have figured out that a) he can’t read my mind and b) he won’t notice (by nature of his boy-ness…or just his particular disposition) when it’s time to move the laundry to the laundry room, or do the dishes, etc. What we’ve decided in the past is that I just need to ASK him to do things. I was cool with this- until it started to go one of two ways. Either I figured I shouldn’t ASK him to do something I can just do ( I mean, how lazy is THAT?) or I did ask him, but apparently in a way that made it sound like he needed to drop what he was doing and do what I asked him to do. The funny thing was, I was taking EXTRA CARE not to sound like that, and in all my trying and question preparation time, I was actually just setting him up to be annoyed…somehow…which is turn, was setting me up to be frustrated. Finally, at the end of the conversation when I had decided that I just couldn’t win I sarcastically said, “Fine, what do you want me to do? Make a list of all the things that need to be done and just stick your name next to half the stuff and write when it needs to be done?”

His answer:

“Yes, yes actually. That would work out really well.”

I started laughing. Turns out, in trying to treat him in a way that I thought I was being super nice and polite, I was actually just being annoying. (At least to him.) One more adventure that teaches us that sometimes we just have to figure out the best way to communicate, and not expect the best way to be the way we think it’s going to be. The one thing that I thought would be demeaning and/or a throwback to the living with roommates days might actually be exactly what he wants. It’ll be a clear, consistent expectation that we don’t have to “talk about” all the time. Sweet. I’ll keep you posted. It seriously cracked me up.

So….the little brother has been with us since Tuesday. It’s been pretty good. It’s nice to actually see him, although I rather not see him at 7am walking through my bedroom in his underwear (the bathroom is through our bedroom). But I like having him around. Gives me time to check up on him and see what he’s up to. His girlfriend is nice- and doesn’t seem to mind hanging around with us, which is a good thing. He works a LOT, so he’s not around enough for me to get bugged. Haha, oh little brothers.

Last night- as well, we went and registered for some baby stuff at Babies ‘R’ Us. It was harder than I thought it would be, that’s for sure! There are so MANY things to think about….and they gave us lists and reading materials to figure out what’s what…so once I go through that I’ll probably get online and revise the things John scanned. We’ve got a few months to get it all figured out, but I love registries because it let’s you feel like you’re shopping without spending money prematurely or filling your house with stuff you don’t need yet.

My biggest questions right now are

a) what kind of bottles do you think baby would like? We’re planning on a mixture of breast and bottle feeding that will allow Little Camper to get super amounts of super nutrients but also give me some freedom. So while your thinking about it….what do you think of pumping? Cause that scares me to DEATH.

and

b) Is it cool to wait for stuff like a high chair and a circle thing with the toys and the teetering (I don’t know what those are called) because really…he won’t be able to hang out in those for awhile.

Yeah….this whole experience has been rather enlightening. First of all, I realised that there is a good chance that I’ll be pumping breast milk like…at work…at school….in PUBLIC. Which I didn’t realise. Cause if I was home, I could just feed the kid directly, right? Apparently John already knew that…or had realised it somewhere between the isle for the breast pumps and the “naturally” shaped bottles that allow Little Camper to go back and forth between the two without getting all confused. I DID educate him on one issue, however, in a discussion in which I told why we should definitely circumcise Little Camper. John was apparently thinking either way would work…but I informed him that we’re definitely going for it, because otherwise we’ll have to teach him some hygiene tips that are altogether avoided with a timely snip snip after birth. I mean….I know boys and the effort they like to put into “self-care.” It’s best if everything is as easily cleanable as possible. I know people who would disagree with me, but just check out this article and the interesting, yet clinical word “smegma” to know what I mean. Seriously. Smegma.

And yes, this is now what we talk about on Friday nights. Fun, huh?
Ok- time to switch the laundry and then go wash MY car. I heart Saturdays.

Well there goes Monday. It was kind of “a day.” I think it started out slow because it was super dark outside- and I would have paid half a million dollars to not have to go to work on time. But alas- to work I went. I’m trying to appreciate it as much as I can so that I don’t jinx myself into bed rest, which, as I’m learning more about it, would literally send me over the deep end. So I guess the “big happening” at work today was our 15 minutes massages- because the collectors reached their goal last month our entire department got massages. I was a little suspect of the process- not sure how I’d feel about it, but since my boss when out of her way to make sure that the guy she got to do it was trained in pre-natal massage, I figured I’d sign up. So- when my turn came I went into the office where the guy set up his chair thing and settled in. First of all- those chairs are designed for men. Or A cups. When he started pushing my back he was squishing my front-ness into this pad thing I had to lean against. So that was distracting. Then I started wondering what I looked like from the back, and spent a good few moments thinking about how I was glad to have my pregg-o pants on that go up to my neck so that my underwear didn’t hang out like some of the other girls I saw earlier in the day. By the end of the 15 minutes I had managed to think every random, fast-paced thought at all applicable to the situation and was not “more relaxed.” I’ve enjoyed facial massages…like…when I’ve gotten a facial…but this just felt weird. It was nice, but…weird. I may just not be a massage type girl. But it was a cool thing for the office to do- and to get paid for, haha. And I would probably do it again just to see if it’s an acquired taste.

The day after that was just blah. I couldn’t concentrate on ANYTHING. I started like 124 projects throughout the day and couldn’t keep going on any one thing specifically. Which, of course, made the day super-long. The long day was only made longer by the fact that our computers apparently didn’t get the “memo” on daylight savings time, so our clocks were about an hour fast for half the day…until we all figured it out…and reluctantly returned to 1pm when we thought it was 2. So sad.

The weekend was really good- we watched conference on Saturday and then went up to watch Cadence and Melody. The conference was so, so good for me this time. I remember on my mission it seemed like every talk was something I needed to hear, something to do with my work and my calling at the time. When I got home I was at a loss because all of a sudden it wasn’t my job to teach the gospel every day. Even before that, when I was in Scranton, I remember the talks really hitting home- showing me something that I was missing. My first months in Provo were the hardest months I’ve ever had anywhere. I felt kind of lost and confused- like I was in a new country where I didn’t know the language. I pretended to fit in, but I often felt inadequate. Although I really, really needed reassurance from my leaders, the men and women who have always been able to help me find my footing in the past, I didn’t feel it. Conference just felt flat. It was as if all of a sudden I didn’t have a duty to fulfill- and because of it, I didn’t have a reason to get help. I told myself that it was normal for a returned missionary to feel a “let-down,” but I was still sad, and disappointed. This conference I decided to try and prepare. I believe that God hears me when I pray- and I believe that He inspires and helps me to understand things through His Spirit….therefore, I figured I’d pray that I’d feel something. And I did. I really hoping for reassurance and direction with regard to becoming a Mom- specifically. I know we’ve made the correct choice- but I’m still scared that I’m not ready or that we rushed it because I am the MOST IMPATIENT PERSON EVER. While I listened to the talks this past weekend (which were full of truths I’ve heard hundreds of times, nothing all that new) I felt like I’ve got my feet under me again. Honestly- it wasn’t anything amazing or new, it was just the same old stuff I’ve heard a hundred times, but in a new way. I really do have faith in God- and I hope to be able to teach my child to find it for herself as well (pronoun chosen at random)- but in order to do so I have to be less lazy than I can be sometimes.

Well anyway. Just my thoughts on conference. I should also say hello to my cousin Sara- who is bravely (and I do mean bravely, because yo…it’s HARD) leaning back and forth between normal pregnancy discomfort and actual BIRTH of said child (a little boy actually). She’s apparently been reading quite a lot these days- so I thought I’d give her her own special shout out. Hi Sara!

Oh- and as for the vitamins (as many people have been asking lately) I did try evening and morning and afternoon and about 3 or 4 different brands PRESCRIPTION from the doctor- but to no avail. So Flintstones it is for me. Do you think it’s possible that I’m just…like…allergic? Hmmm. Who knows. In other symptoms…well, actually, miracles of miracles…there are just no news ones. I don’t think. You could ask John, he seems to notice what’s going on with me before I do these days. He’s a smartie- that one.

So. I looked at a picture of what my baby (babies) is supposed to look like at the moment. It freaked me out. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ll be ok with it until I’m like- 20 weeks. Why does she have a TAIL? That just seems wrong to me.

The first day of work went well. It felt long, and I am so tired. I’m thinking that I may need to get creative with sleep solutions. Like- take naps after work before John gets home. I’m getting a little stressed out about how I’m going to deal with things like my science class and the normal amount of housework I need to do. I just feel so tired. But tonight is not the time to worry. I managed to take the trash out and clean up after the medicine disaster of 2008 (someone, probably me, put a bottle of NightQuil in the medicine tub and it emptied out all over everything) and I even laid down for about an hour. As for science, I’m well on my way. I just need to watch the date and probably, work on it Saturday afternoons after I sleep in a little. I’m thinking two serious sit-downs might actually take care of most of it. Then there’s the little question of taking the tests. Hmmmm….that might be a wee more difficult with my new schedule.

Oh- and by the way, I have the BEST sister. (I love saying I have a sister). She sent me the sweetest card today supporting me in my unemployed status- it was good to hear that I am better than I was treated, and that she loves me Thanks Becca!

I guess it was just a good mail day for me all around. My Mum also sent me a package, a new quillow (blanket that folds into a pillow) and a book: Ginger Pye by Eleanor Estes.

I think it’s about time to wrap myself up in some love (i.e. quillow) and go to BED. I wonder if I’ll have the stomach to make my husband some dinner. I went and bought him some sausages tonight- but I seem to get the MOST nauseous at night. Is that normal?